Dear Television:

You know we cannot go on like this anymore. I am not getting anything done. I know you said you were not going to come between me and my chores, my writing, my sewing, and my sleeping but you are.

I come home and there you are taunting and whispering to me “Turn Me On” and together we find something for me to watch or to go to sleep to. Now you are becoming downright demanding with your belief that it is time for you to be upgraded to the bigger, flatter, and curvier version of you. You are telling me that it is all my fault that if I make you smart so you will be able to turn yourself off at a certain time and watch shows only I deem worthy. You promise, you say. I am not sure because you have cussed out my conspiracy theorist inside me more than once when I suggested that Big Brother will be monitoring me and the shows I watch if I made you “smart”.

I will continue to ignore your pleads when you whine that the Joneses have a smarter, bigger, and flatter TV that is hanging on their wall. Well, the next time you see the Joneses asked them if they can upgrade you for me. You and I know that the Joneses will not give us a penny for your upgrade.

I just can’t quit you, but things have to change. So from here on out I have some new rules.

· There will be no marathon watching.

· I have made a list of shows and movies I will watch each week and I will only watch those shows and movies that are on the list.

· Books and I are going to get reacquainted with each other and you will just have to deal.

I know you are thinking, what about the Olympics? That is still going to go on as schedule. The rules will be suspended for those two weeks in August but it will resume after the games are over.

This is going to be as hard on me as it will be with you but we can make it. We will be better for it.

I know you are not smiling now, but smile anyway.

Namkia